It can often be difficult to know the correct etiquette relating to who should pay for what when it comes to your big day. While modern weddings frequently bend the rules, here's the official lowdown on traditional etiquette!
Bride:
* Wedding ring for the Groom
* Gifts for the Attendants
* Accommodation for out-of-town Attendants
* Wedding gift for the Groom
* Personal Lingerie
* Bridesmaids luncheon
The Groom:
* The Bride's rings including the Engagement ring
* The honeymoon
* Wedding gift for the bride
* The marriage license
* The Groomsmen gifts
* Accommodation for out-of-town groom's men
* Brides bouquet
* Corsages for mothers
* Boutonnieres for men in wedding party
* The gloves, ties and accessories for the men in the wedding party
* Fee for clergyperson or judge
The Groom's Family:
* Clothing for the Wedding
* Travel and lodging expenses
* Rehearsal dinner
* Wedding gift for the newlyweds
* Getting gifts to the newlyweds home
The Bride's Family:
* The Engagement Party and announcement
* All facets of the reception.
* Bride's attire
* Invitations, announcements, thank you notes
* Decorating costs
* Photographer/Videographer
* Ceremony costs
* Bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer flowers and accessories
* Transportation for bridal party on Wedding day from ceremony to reception.
* All gratuities for all services: parking, security
* Their own attire
* Their own travel arrangements to island
The Attendants:
* Their Wedding clothes
* Travel expenses
* Wedding gift for newlyweds
Maid of Honour
* Wedding shower
* Hen Night
Best Man
* Stag Night
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Who Pays for What?
Choosing a Wedding Photographer
Choosing a photographer for your big day is a daunting task. There are so many out there, how do you know one is better than another. Here are some tips in helping you to decide:
1. Choose a photographer that suits your style. Photographers will either shoot formal wedding frames, or be more like photojournalists, shooting as the event happens, or some photographers will do a mixture of both. Choose a photographer that suits your style.
2. Every photographer has a portfolio of work. Ask to see it. Look out for crisp images, good lighting, well composed foregrounds and backgrounds, ask yourself wether the photography your viewing expresses any emotion.
3. Meet with your photographer choices and assess wether there is any common ground there. It is essential that you understand each other and can work together throughout the process as the character of the photographer will play an important part in the type of photo�s you end up with.
4. Ask technical questions: does he/she shoot digital photography? Does he/she shoot medium format (for poster sized prints) as well as 35mm? Will you get a CD of all photography, or an album?
5. As for References and check them out. Ask the Referees wether the photographer was punctual, friendly, assertive, worthy of recommendation?
6. Check out the small print. Large studios will often hike up the price of an estimate by sending along associates or charging you for travel time to your wedding etc. Make sure you know what your getting.
7. Make sure that you own all the rights to your wedding photography, that way there will be not chance that your photography ends up in a magazine to publicize the photographer!
The photo�s that you take away from your wedding are quite often the only lasting impression you will have of your special day. With this in mind it makes sense to plan the photographs that you would like to see in the future and to give this list to your photographer before your ceremony.
Also ask your photographer to shoot in both black and white and colour so that you can benefit from both mediums.
Once you�ve made your choice, don�t second guess. Consider it one less thing to have to think about!
Island Wedding Planning
There is no reason why a wedding planned in an exotic location should compromise your dreams in any way. By considering the following pointers and keeping abreast of all of your choices, your wedding has the potential to be a unique expression of yourself and a honeymoon all rolled into one.
Choosing your Destination
* Check out local marriage guidelines � some destinations require you to be in the country for a �waiting period� before your wedding day. If this doesn�t suit your schedule you might want to choose another location.
* Weather � some regions are prone to hurricanes during specific times of the year. Although these times are considered �off season� and therefore cheaper, they also pose risks to your day.
* Check into the wedding services available in the area. The more remote your location the less services will be on offer, including tourism type activities. This might affect your guests decision to attend the wedding
* Cut Costs for you and your guests by booking a destination wedding in off season times. For the Caribbean this is between May and November.
The Details
Are you happy handling all the details of your wedding yourself or would you rather have the support of an onsite wedding planner? Planners are in touch with local service vendors and often have the local knowledge that can save you money and time. Once you have decided on your location, its time to decide if you want to enlist a wedding planner 'on the ground' to help with your plans.
To begin, use an online resource such as http://www.islandbrides.com to get an initial list of all the planners in your chosen wedding destination. Contact them all initially by email to see who gets back to you promptly and efficiently. Once you've narrowed down the list to 2 or 3 possible, keep up an email dialogue with them so you can find out which of them wants to plan your wedding, your way, and which are only interested in selling you their own fixed packages.
Once you have found the planner you feel most comfortable with, make sure that you have spoken to each other a few times, on the phone, before you arrive in your location. Make sure they know what you want for your wedding, and have given you a detailed quote for their services, broken down so you can see exactly what you are getting. Also ask the obvious questions about experience, packages and how she/he charges for their services.
It may seem like a lot of work, but choosing your wedding planner can make or break your day, so putting him or her through their paces will ensure you are happy with your choice, and both you and the planner are on the same page.
The Cake, The Photographer, The Flowers, The Beautician, Musicians etc.
If you have decided to enlist a wedding planner, he or she will be able to recommend florists, bakers, and stylists in the area. Don't be afraid to ask to see photos of the work of these people - if they're not willing to provide them, choose someone else.
If you are doing your own planning, most wedding vendors have websites nowadays, and destination wedding websites such as http://www.islandbrides.com/ can put you directly in touch with everyone you will need for your wedding plans.
Just as with choosing your wedding planner, don't just choose one from the list. Start by contacting them all, and then narrow your list of options down by speaking regularly to them. You can tell a lot from a few e-mails back and forth, and you have the chance to make sure you are getting exactly what you want out of your package, and review their work online.
Beach Wedding Themes
Wherever you decide to hold your Island wedding you�ll want to come up with a unique and individual theme for your wedding that says something about who you are as a couple.
When deciding upon a theme, keep these theme ideas in mind for a Caribbean accent to add to your wedding:
Ocean
With turquoise blue waters all around the islands of the Caribbean what could be more fitting than having an ocean theme to your wedding. Here are some suggestions to get you started:
* Add swags of turquoise tulle to your head table
* Decorate your bridal arch in ocean coloured ribbons
* Offer guests ocean inspired favours wrapped up in blue tulle
* Decorate tables with glass bowls with sea water arrangements inside them
* Use fish inspired logos for invitations, save a date cards and thank you notes
* Consider a nautical touch with the use of ropes to make candle arrangements for table centrepieces
Tropical
The tropical foliage of the Caribbean can provide a lush and colourful backdrop to your wedding.
* Use Bougainvillea to decorate arches, and the head table
* Buy tropical flowers by the stem from local florists to make your own table arrangements based in vases weighted with sand
* Incorporate palms into your wedding decor
* Consider having a tiki hut erected as an outside bar
* Offer tropical drinks after your ceremony
* Offer tropical fruits in your desert cart
* Serve a tropical fruit Caribbean wedding cake
* Incorporate seafood items typical in The Caribbean to your menu ie. Conch salad, grouper, lobster
Beach
The Beach can provide a great theme to your wedding and a million ideas for d�cor:
* Have a conch shell aisle in the sand
* Use tiki lights to light pathways in evening receptions
* Incorporate the beach into invitations using shells, message in a bottle, or scrolled invites � see �Favours� feature
* Have an ice sculpture on your buffet table to house shrimp or salad in the shape of a shell or a dolphin
Nature
The tropical animal kingdom can provide an eco sensitive slant to your wedding, consider the following:
* Use animal logo�s on all wedding stationary: parrots, iguanas, dolphins
* Use local natural landmarks as a focal point of your wedding ie. Volcano sites in Montserrat, jungle, or beach
Musical
Soca, Calypso, Reggae, Steel Drum Bands are all music styles that are intrinsically tied to the Caribbean...why not incorporate music from your locale into your wedding.
Save The Date Cards
Save The Date Cards are pretty much a �must� for a Destination Wedding. They announce your big day in advance of formal invitations so that guests can have adequate time to make the necessary travel preparations for your beach wedding.
Here are some things to keep in mind when putting together your Save a Date Cards:
* Send out Save The Date Cards 4 to 6 months prior to your wedding
* Don�t get into too much detail about the reception, the rehearsal dinner etc, this should just be an - announcement about the Date, not the details.
* Include travel and area information ie. Resorts, flights, phone numbers, group booking plans etc.
* Reply cards are not necessary as you are not trying to illicit a response.
* Do not send your registry information with the Save The Date Card.
* Include details of your wedding website if you plan to post additional updates and information there.
Choosing the Format
Save The Date Cards are traditionally more casual than formal invites....so this could be your opportunity to add your own personal style to your wedding, or to imbibe a bit of the island-style into it:
Curl your Save The Date Card into a straw tote, or a unique sea shell, or a small bottle or send them out as a Pirate scroll with a map to the Treasure � your tropical beach wedding! If you find that you have a lot of important information, such as hotel and travel agent phone numbers to include, why not look into having your cards printed as fridge magnets, this way, the information can be kept close at hand by your guests, and the magnets provide a great lasting memory of your island event!
The Wedding Planner
Considering that the average wedding takes between 200 and 300 hours to plan its no surprise that brides are using the services of Wedding Coordinators more and more these days. When it comes to Destination Weddings the services of a local expert can save you countless wasted hours and dollars as well as acting as your eyes, ears and go between on the day.
But when it comes to hiring the services of Wedding Coordinators, what exactly are you letting yourself in for? is it truly possible to trust the services of a third party when it comes to the detailed planning of the most important day of your life? And what are the loop holes and problems that folks experience? We are here to forewarn you of the problems whilst also helping you to make the most of your wedding planner and to enjoy the experience from the start.
Word of Mouth
Once your chosen your island destination to get married, join local wedding message boards to find out which planners have a good reputation. Word of mouth is the only recommendation when it comes to �real� details.
Talk to prospective planners on the phone
Email is great, its inexpensive and it allows you to ask all sorts of questions that you might feel awkward asking in person, however, there is nothing like face to face contact, or voice interaction to get a feel for a person and to gauge wether you will be able to work together. We advise that you call your shortlist of wedding planners and feel out the best.
Be specific about pricing and choices
Once you�ve shortlisted your choices, be specific about what you want for your wedding and get written quotes. Even though these might be ball park figures at this stage it will help you to analyze the virtues of each planner before making a final decision
Get written contracts
So you�ve now chosen the wedding planner you want to work with...make sure you nail down the contract and leave nothing open to speculation. if there is a cake included in your package, how big is the cake, how many guests will it feed, what is the frosting...these are the types of details that you need to iron out from the start.
Fees
Coordinators usually charge one of three ways:
* by the hour - $50 and up
* by a percentage of total wedding costs - 10 - 15% of overall wedding budget
* by a flat fee - ie. $1500 plus 15% of vendor services
* by fee based upon number of guests
* by fee based upon package or work required
Check on the planners relationship with vendors
Some wedding planners get kick back commissions from vendors on services they sign up, this can sway their advice on the use of vendors in certain categories and you might not be getting what YOU want, but what the planner is getting the best deal for themselves on.
How long will the planner be available on the day?
You need to know if your planner will be there to coordinate photographs, cake cutting, the first dances etc. If he/she will only be around on your day for a specific amount of time, specify when and to.
Make sure you have undivided attention
The only way to do this is to ensure that your planner has only ONE booking on the day of your wedding.
Have a back up plan
Ask your coordinator what happens in the event that he/she is sick on your wedding day?
Hire an �internet friendly� coordinator
Plan to stay in touch with your coordinator via email and check that they are computer literate, check emails daily. Some Caribbean countries are internet challenged and it would be good to discuss this at the outset so as not to get frustrated between emails.
Wedding Hairstyles
When thinking about your wedding hairstyles the key is to prepare and plan well ahead. There's nothing like a hair disaster to send you into a tail spin on your wedding day. Here's some of our suggestions for getting your hair right at your beach wedding:
Plan ahead
Do you research, tear photo's out of magazines and start to discuss your wedding hairstyle preferences with your hairdresser as much as a year ahead of time. She can guide you with colour treatments, cuts and questions about lengths that will have you looking fab on your day.
Do a practice run
Whatever style you decide to have on your day, definitely do a practice run at home, before you leave for your destination wedding. Gauge wether your up-do will make it through the winds of Aruba or wether your cascading "down" do will remain cascading and not a frizz up in humid climates. Also gauge wether the do you choose is really you.
Match your dress, don't drown it!
As with any other wedding, you will want to make sure that your beach wedding dress matches the hairstyle that you want...and despite weather considerations you should be able to have all of the same choices available to you as a bride at home would. Try your wedding dress on with your practice run hair-do and see wether there is a match or wether your hair is competing for attention.
Bias cut slip dresses might suit an "up/down" look with fresh flowers as an accessory, whereas a traditional off the shoulder gown might suit an up do, or even a veil.
Shine On
Use shining serum in your hair to give it that extra shine for your big day.
Up Do's
If you've resigned yourself to an up do for your beach wedding and succumbed to the idea that humid weather will frizz anything else, then these styles might be for you:
* Ballerina Bun - a ponytail woven around itself into a tight bun
* A chignon - a dramatic bun at the base of the head.
French Braid - a closely women, three stranded braid running the length of the head and your hair. Classic up do - created by piling curled hair on top of your head and pining in place
Veils
Chances are that our island wedding will be conducted out doors, on a beach, in tropical gardens or by a picturesque colonial land monument and so you will have to consider the management of a veil well in advance. Perhaps a long cathedral veil won't work in tropical gardens and a puffy waist length veil might blow above your face during the ceremony. Just bare in mind that your ceremony location should play a part in the veil you choose to wear.
Bare in mind also that a veil can dramatically alter your silhouette...a short waisted bride should not wear a veil that stops at the waist, therefore accentuating the waste line and a petite bride might steer away from shorter veils that are top heavy and keep the concentration on the top half of the body. Generally speaking taller brides can carry a more substantial and longer veil.
Headpieces and Accessories
Because Destination Brides tend to be a bit more casual and non traditional, many are opting to toss the idea of the traditional veil in preference for an attractive tiara, wreath, barrette or back piece.
Another idea is to make use of the beautiful tropical flowers at your disposal and wear fresh flowers in your hair on your day. Just make sure that if you plan to remove your accessories during your reception, your hairstylist has shown your maid or honour how to remove it.